Ambient Nostalgia

I'm sitting in my office, listening to Groove Salad on Soma.fm. The wind is blowing through the window's closed shades. I feel like I'm 17 again, sitting in my old room late at night, just listening.

Earlier today, I was poking around the Wayback Machine on archive.org and I plugged in my old Textamerica moblog. This sudden rush of sadness came over me, it was as if I was allowed to look back in to my past, my friends, my memories of times gone by, but not able to do anything about it. Pictures of people who I no longer keep in contact with were there telling me "Hi!" but all my replies fell on deaf ears.

Then I took things even further, I've been reading all my old blog posts via the WBM, I know I can read them anytime I want as they're still available in the archives, but there's something about seeing them in their original designs. The original templates of MSDN.

I sat here, in my chair, reading every single word, looking for grammatical errors, spelling mistakes and it was if I was typing it out all over again, I found it so funny how one paragraph could put me in another time:

It was one of those 'moisten here and fold over' type letters, no envelope, no stamp. Just fill out, lick, fold and send. Well, I got a bit too sexy when I licked the glue part. It got so moist that it wouldn't stick and it was kinda soggy. So I've got a couple books sitting on top of it.

I remember the exact books too, it was my old AD&D Player's Guide and DM's Guide.

I suppose, that within time, I'll look back at this current time period with great fondness and sadness just as I do with the days of my youth. So remember, make the most of everyday, it has the potential to quite possibly be the best day of your life. Hell, even a day where I was filling out a Goddamned warranty card has turned into a fond memory. Than again, it's probably not the actual act of picking up the pencil and filling in the boxes, one letter at a time, that I look back with such joy, but the time period it represents.

It's the same thing with music too. Queens of the Stone Age seems to be connected to very strong emotional times in my life. I cannot listen to Songs for the Deaf without thinking about this particular week in time:

Shooting off my mouth at what a great catch she is, how they missed out on having the most awesome person to walk the planet.

I probably don't say it enough to her, but she knows I love her.

I cannot look at my iPhone and constantly think about our 4 year anniversary in Los Angeles.

I'm just a sentimental old fool, who has trouble throwing the past away, and the way I look at it, as long as we live in the present, plan for the future and remember to love our past, I think we will all be pretty ok.

Fall has Fallen

I'm sitting here, in my backyard. A large truck drives by and shakes my bones, a cool breeze followed by a warm burst of sun as the shade flaps in the wind hits my skin and make me feel calm.

The sprinkler that's spinning around at a hundred miles an hour, however, is making me nervous as hell. It's one of those kind that go "tick-tick-tick-tick-tick-fssssssssssshhh." Well, I have it setup in the middle and set so it goes in a complete circle (I didn't know they could do that until half-hour ago.) and for some reason I can't keep my eyes off of it. It's kind of like season finale of your favorite T.V. show.