Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Sleeping Patterns of a Father.

One of the things I've found out in fatherhood -- and parenthood for that matter -- you don't get much choice in what you do.

If you make plans or have task to accomplish, either your child or your body will tell you something way different. Like way out of left field different.

Let me give you an example:

12:30 A.M. -- Mom Status: Up. Dad Status: Up. Baby Status: Up and running in circles.

LILA: Mike, let's put the baby to sleep and we'll watch those episodes of Dexter we've been trying to watch.

ME: Great idea. Maybe I can play some COD4 or read that Final Cut Pro book.

Putting the baby to sleep usually consists of laying down with her until she gets comfortable and gradually falls asleep.

12:35 A.M. -- Mommy Status: Up. Daddy Status: Up. Baby Status: Up and jumping on the bed.

LILA: I'm getting hungry too, I'll make some Bertolli and we can watch Dexter

ME: Yeah, that sounds good as long as it's not the horrible spinach one. I guess after Dexter I'll play COD4.

12:45 A.M. Mommy Status: Up, but quiet. Daddy Status: Half way to dreamland. Baby Status: Almost there.

LILA: ...


1:24 A.M Mommy Status: K.O. Daddy Status: K.O. Baby Status: K.O.

1:47 A.M Mommy Status: K.O. Daddy Status: K.O. Baby Status: K.O.

2:16 A.M Mommy Status: K.O. Daddy Status: Up and confused Baby Status: K.O.

At this point I still had my shoes on and I usually find it hard to get comfortable when I have my shoes on. So I tried quietly as humanly possible to pull the velcro straps on my shoes, but as any kid in who grew up in the 80's knows, it's impossible to do. I managed to get my shoes off and get back in to bed without waking the baby and knew that my day had ended, COD4 would have to wait another day, Dexter would have to kill some other time, such is the way of baby and parents.

When I was awake at 2:16 A.M. trying to turn off the lights that had been left on, making sure the doors were locked, I actually contemplated staying up and either watch some idiot box or play XBox (hehe), but I totally decided against that idea when I couldn't tell the difference between a bottle of Water and a bottle of Bar-B-Que sauce.

Let me tell you BBQ sauce at 2:19 A.M. isn't the nicest thing in the world.